Love Is Not An Endpoint, It Is A Process

I want to stress that this article is not meant to put one opinion above another...

Everybody’s opinion deserves to be analyzed equally and no one person’s opinion should be taken as absolute truth.  As such, I offer my thoughts as a starting point to a deeper conversation that may or may not agree with my beliefs.

I have heard one too many love songs that focus on loss, more so than recovery. I am reminded of a song I heard recently. By “recent”, I mean yesterday. In this song, the main character experiences a breakup that shakes his very soul, to the point of isolation. His friends finally reach him and persuade him to leave his home and enjoy a night on the town. Up to this point, the song is like any typical love song. The character is at his highest (or in this case, his lowest) point and much of the song focuses on the love interest responsible for why the character feels the way he/she does.

What makes this song so different is not the willingness of the character to leave his home, in an attempt to distract himself from the bad breakup. The difference is in the character’s self-confession. While out, he admits that he can love somebody else. He just chooses not to. This is not because he feels like he is lacking in some physical characteristic. This is not due to some inferiority complex. The character chooses not to love somebody else because he does not want the moments he shared with his ex to be less precious.

This decision to prevent oneself from loving someone else, for the sake of preserving the feelings that person has for another, is admirable. It reveals a person’s true dedication to someone (plus, it makes for a cute love song ). However, it causes one to suppress the side of him/herself that yearns to be loved. This action is not healthy, to say the least. It could lead to self-destructive behavior, at least spiritually if not physically.

If I were the singer, I would mention what went right and what ultimately led to my break-up. However, I would not use my memories of someone as a reason to avoid sharing potential memories with someone else. I would cherish these memories and use them to better my next relationship. Memories, in my opinion, are not meant to be viewed as the end of something. For as long as we live, memories are continuous. They should be used to ultimately better one’s situation, whether physically, spiritually or sexually.

I offer my opinion as an alternative path to consider when expressing this complicated phenomenon called “love”. Different situations may call for different approaches, but no approach should prevent one from progressing as a lover, a fighter and as a human being. I would love to hear your thoughts. With that said, I present the song called “Ex” by James TW. As always, until next time…..

James TW - Ex (Official Video)

Special thanks to JamesTWVEVO for sharing this video. Please like the video at its official YouTube page and don’t forget to comment.