Warning: This review contains major spoilers to the movie. If you intend to watch it any time soon (six months or less) and would not want me to ruin your experience, please don’t read the Movie Opinion section and go straight to the ratings. Also, don’t forget to watch the clip at the end of the article. If you don’t intend to watch the movie, already watched it or just want to burn some time, then proceed. Also, remember to like this article and leave a comment. You have been warned.
If a flaming skull on the side of a Harley Davis is to your
liking, you might like to dip your toes into the newest Hellboy movie.
Movie Opinion
Full disclosure. The first couple of minutes of the movie is
kind of slow and Ian McShane’s five-minute narration is pretty lame. I couldn’t
help but laugh for most of it. Not to diminish Mr. McShane’s narrative skills.
Mr. McShane is a legend. Period. With his voice, he could easily be one of the
most badass, celebrity, voice narrators out there, behind James Earl Jones,
Samuel L. Jackson, Mark Hamill and Tara Strong. I just feel like the minds behind
the movie purposely made the storytelling of the witch, Nimue, funny. It is as
if they intended to make a mockery of serious, action movie narrations. Plus,
the backstory to Nimue’s, (played by Milla Jovovich. Yes, that Milla Jovovich!) imprisonment isn’t that…well, original. She
tries to control the forces of Hell to take over the world of Man (Okay?).
Then, a heroic group stops her before she can realize her plan (And?). It begs
the audience to realize that Nimue will come back to exact the same plan she
could not fulfill the first time. A cookie-cutter story, for the most part.
Sure, the men who stop her, dismember her body and sends the pieces to
different parts of the world. However, that’s the only tantalizing thing from
the story. If anything, I would prolong her backstory until, maybe, when
Hellboy meets Baba Yaga. Just not at the beginning.
The film becomes a lot more interesting after Hellboy
defeats his old partner, who has been missing for months, in a wrestling match
in Tijuana, Mexico. That’s when the main cast of characters begin to trickle in.
There is Hellboy’s hard-loving, foul-mouth ‘dad’, Professor Broom (Ian McShane).
Then there is the undercover, lycan (can one really call him a lycan?) agent,
Major Ben Diamio (Daniel Dae Kim). Finally, there is the spiritual medium,
Alice Monaghan (Sasha Lane) who is the closest thing to what Hellboy can
classify as a friend. View the full story line here and the full cast here.
The plot is, for the most part, predictable, which can go
both ways. On the one hand, because it was so predictable, I got a general
sense of the movie’s direction within the first fifteen minutes. For example, I
kind of figured that Hellboy’s father would die at some point after seeing what
happened to his partner. The overall mood of internal struggle and death made
it pretty clear that someone really close to Hellboy would be taken away from
him. I figured it would be his dad. Granted, I didn’t know how he would go.
Maybe he’d be reduced to ashes. Maybe Baba Yaga would slice him up. Either way,
I knew he’d die at some point.
There were areas where I found myself saying ‘huh?’ or
‘wtf!’ I tend not to watch very many movie clips on YouTube, before I go to
watch a film in the theaters. I also keep away from reviews, like influenza
(ironic, no? I mean, I am writing a movie review right now!). For Hellboy, I
was completely oblivious as far as what to expect. I mean, the encounter
between Hellboy and Baba Yaga was way out there for me. Baba Yaga agreeing to
help Hellboy, in order to get a piece of the new world after the invasion, was
completely unexpected. Then the fight that occurred after the deal went bad was
both hilarious and exciting to watch.
On the other hand, a predictable plotline requires quick
bursts of action within the first couple of minutes to keep the crowd
entertained. Hellboy fell short of delivering that. Scenes like the fight
between Baba Yaga and Hellboy, as well as the carnage ensued after the first
wave of Hell is unleashed onto the unwitting citizens of modern-day London,
saved what would have been a surprisingly dry plotline. I say surprising,
because I expected the same exciting, eye-catching action of the last Hellboy
film to carry over to this one. It had little to do with the absence of Ron Perlman. I admit, I wish Perlman had stayed as Hellboy, but David Harbour did a
great job commanding the role.
In addition, the decision to have
Milla Jovovich play the villain was excellent. Though most of us best known her
as Alice from Resident Evil, Ms. Jovovich has contributed her body and voice to
multiple roles. Playing characters in multiple blockbuster films like Zoolander and The Fifth Element, has added to Ms. Jovovich’s credentials as one
of the most versatile actresses in Hollywood. Especially for movies like
Hellboy, she’s second-to-none at acting the part of strong, powerful, yet
sensitive ladies of action.
However, the slow build to the
heart of the film, which is Hellboy discovering that he is both a descendant of
King Arthur and the son of a demon, really irked me. Even now, I twist my face
(literally) when I think about it. I can only imagine the number of man-hours
and capital, put into the graphics, costume and set design and sound,
responsible for bringing the world of Hellboy to life. To have all that done,
then have the plot diminish the overall quality of the film, is discouraging at
best. The sequence of events just did not play well with the expectations set
by this movie’s predecessors.
How Did it Do?
I had some issues with the plotline, given the slow buildup.
However, the film saved itself from being considered a complete dud with some
funny and action-filled scenes. Plus, I am a real softie for Milla Jovovich and
the costume and graphics were really good. So I’d reward Hellboy a 7 out of 10. Sometimes, you can’t beat the old-school.
Now here is a little media candy for all of you. Enjoy!
Star Rating: 7 out of 10 stars!
Media
Special thanks to SonySoundtracksVEVO for sharing Benjamin
Wallfisch’s “Big Red”. It’s an awesome addition to the Hellboy soundtrack that I personally love because of its mix of
traditional theatrical music and electro house/dubstep. Please show your
appreciation by going to the video’s YouTube page and liking the movie. As
always, until next time
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